Ideas

Category: Interpersonal

  • The End of Incubator.

    After considerable thought I’ve decided to mark a completion to Incubator and embark on the next chapter in my journey – one that I call Territories:

    It’s very clear now that what I have been going through can be best described as a “valley”, although the period (2007-2010) can be described in both the positive and negative:

    The Bad relationship failure . shattered dreams . borderline personality disorder . abandonment . loss . depression . post-traumatic stress disorder . downsizing . monetary loss . depression . therapy . loneliness . isolation . breakup . negative feedback . extreme stress . panic attacks . internal conflict . analysis paralysis . miscommunication . poor decision-making skills . poor sense of self . lack of direction . life crisis . past self-realization

    The Good design . values . industrial design school . sense of direction . renewed sense of self . peaks and valleys realization . education . graphic design . portfolio creation . advanced creative thinking . writing . photography . illustration . exercise . talent . strengths

    As it relates to “peaks” and “valleys”, the following key points have been added to my personal “rulebook” (from the book with the same name):

    • The errors you make in today’s good times create tomorrow’s bad times.
    • The wise things you do in today’s bad times create tomorrow’s good times.

    I may never forgive but I am ready to forget.

  • The Black Box.

    Over the past two years, I’ve contributed more than 100 posts spanning over 600 different subjects.  For me, writing has given me the opportunity to think about ideas, events and people in new ways.  It has also allowed me to heal.

    In some respect, Incubator has been a black box.  The inputs to this “black box” have been my experiences and ideas.  The resulting outputs could perhaps be best summarized via the tag cloud located on the right-hand side of the page; as of the date of this posting, “awareness” and “design” are the two most popular themes.

    However, to boil the past two years into this discrete summary would do some injustice to my contributions to date.  Thus, I think it’s important to call attention to several key outputs:

    1. You haven’t believed in yourself as much as you’ve should.
    2. You have a lot of talent, but you are not using it to it’s full potential.
    3. You fail very slowly.
    4. You have trusted others to “make” decisions for you.

    To take a lesson from books I’ve read, it’s perhaps more positive to state these outputs in a slightly different way:

    1. Believe in yourself.
    2. Maximize your talent.
    3. Fail quickly.
    4. Make your own decisions.

    Of course, these are four outputs – summarizing down to one leaves the following:

    You can do better.

  • Out of Body Experience.

    Earlier this month I was involved in a fairly serious accident while playing basketball at my local gym.  The player, who I actually do not know, went up for a shot and I was unfortunately too close – expecting a rebound opportunity.  Three days ago I had surgery to repair the two facial fractures that had resulted in that unfortunate collision.

    In some strange way, time seemed to slow down just milliseconds before the impact occurred.  My mind told me that I was truly in the wrong place at the wrong time.  The resulting impact was perhaps the most pain I’ve experienced to date – and it’s one limit that I would rather not exceed anytime soon.  Immediately following the collision I knew something was truly wrong.  My jaw – actually my entire face – felt like it had shifted.  Something inside my face had moved out of place.

    Once I was able to walk off the court, my fears slowly creeped in and by the time I had left the gym I was in tears – not because I was in pain (amazingly), but because I was afraid and very much alone.  Those feelings quickly escalated once I made it to a local medical center to have my injuries looked after.  I was unable to speak to the receptionist and tried desperately to get my feelings stabilized.  Feelings of strength and confidence can be quickly erased when trauma occurs, and this was proof positive of that.

    Soon after being looked after and an X-ray taken, I went to the emergency room for a CT scan (computed tomography).  It was here where my mind transitioned into another place – a place where my situation became less about my fears and more about the technologies that would help diagnose my condition.

    As I was rolled into the CT unit I focused my attention at the multitude of red lights that scanned over my face and the mechanisms that resided within the clear circular frame.  I listened to the whirring of mechanical servos as the scan progressed and smelled the “magnetic” air that was a surprising byproduct of the procedure.  While others can feel claustrophobic in such a machine, I felt strangely at peace.  I was able to focus my attention outside of myself and into the overall experience.

    When the day of surgery arrived, my anxiety was minimal to none.  While I had my family’s support available to me, my mind was again placed outside of myself.  My mind focused on the logistics of the pre-op room, the personalities of the nurses who interacted with me, the IV inserted into my arm, the layering of wavelengths that displayed on the screen above me, and the intermittent alarm when my respiration levels dropped below “normal.”

    For some reason, I wanted (needed?) this medical team to remember me as someone who was thankful, cool under pressure and empathetic – qualities that I strive to possess but do not always achieve.  I wanted to build perhaps the most important self-fulfilling prophecy of them all – a prophecy where feelings of positivity and confidence allow for a speedy recovery.

    By its very nature, trauma forces the inflicted to slow down and process thoughts with greater intensity and focus.  Slowing down allowed me to step outside of my current reality and find ways to stabilize my emotions in a way that was natural for me.  Being able to find and fabricate a temporal world where I was able to gain some emotional and physiological stability allowed me to gain the strength I needed to move beyond this accident and procedure in a positive and constructive way.

  • Plus ca change Plus c’est la meme chose

    My mom recently shared a few documents from when I was in nursery school and kindergarten many years ago.  These documents essentially provide a glimpse of my behavior and personality at that time.

    As I was reading through the narratives, I was intrigued (actually – amazed) on the behavioral similarities between then and now.  In some strange way, these narratives confirm what this multi-year journey has shown me:

    Who I believed I was is indeed who I really am.

    Nursery School

    • Even tempered, tolerant and friendly, Adrian is well accepted by the group and usually involved with social play most of the morning.  He is willing to try everything and especially enjoys blocks, dramatic play, books and woodworking activities.[2011 Commentary: My professional career and personal interests have spanned numerous and diverse areas, and will likely continue to do so for the remainder of my life.]
    • He has marvelous ideas, but is easily distracted and remains only semi-involved much of the time. [2011 Commentary: Exclusive focus in one particular area is still, and will always be, a challenge.]
    • When approached by adults, Adrian is friendly, spontaneous; responds well to suggestions and directions.  On the whole, he appears to be independent and self-reliant. [2011 Commentary: Perhaps too much so.]
    • Adrian takes pride in whatever he makes in school, e.g. when he does a painting or art activity, he often informs us he is finished and proudly shows us his finished product.  He likes to make constructive things out of the materials e.g. airplanes (out of the nuts and bolts; odd pieces of wood), buildings or boats out of hollow blocks.  He likes to work in a group, rather than on an individual basis.[2011 Commentary: The showcasing of work will always expand, although I do most of my best work when working independently.]
    • Adrian has most of contact with Benjamin and Billy because they also spend a great deal of time in the hollow block corner. [2011 Commentary: Exclusivity in friendship and relationships is still the norm.]
    • If he feels uncomfortable after a disagreement, he usually moves onto a different activity. [2011 Commentary: I don’t like conflict and I tend to focus my energies on something creative or positive when I am able to.  Incubator started with this core personality trait.]
    • He is very capable of expressing his thoughts and feelings through language. He enjoys talking to others about experiences he has or something he has just made. [2011 Commentary: My written ability to share these thoughts is perhaps stronger than my verbal ability although I hope one day this will change.]
    • New situations don’t upset Adrian.  He is flexible and adapts to whatever is taking place in the room.

    Kindergarten

    • He is particularly fond of block building and art.  Adrian is also quite creative with materials. [2011 Commentary: Scary! :-)]

    If you have similar materials from your childhood, perhaps one day you will go back and take a closer look.  The expression “the more things change, the more they stay the same” may hold true for you as well as it has for me.

  • The Green Zone.

  • Immersion: Challenges & Opportunities

    Portfolio Development: My portfolio has evolved fairly well over the past several years – particularly in the graphic design arena.  The evolution from where I began and where I am today shows a clear positive trajectory.  Recent digital illustration work using the Cintiq and Photoshop also show tremendous potential.  The opportunity here is two-fold.  First, when solid progress is being made, I tend to move on to another challenge without spending additional time to further develop / refine my existing skills.  In some strange way, the possibility for greater success deters me from moving forward.  Second, while the portfolio is looking increasingly professional, it is heavily weighted in graphic design and less so in other disciplines (e.g. 3D modeling, rendering).

    Community Engagement: The past several years have focused heavily on portfolio development and the creation of my personal brand.  While there has been significant success in both fronts, the communication and level of engagement has been unidirectional.  My original belief of “build it and they will come” places heavy responsibility on external parties to not only learn about me, but to engage in further discussion.  There is an opportunity to change this unidirectional approach through increased engagement / participation on my end.

    Process of Elimination: One of the challenges that I’ve faced with Big Generator is that it has lacked clear direction.  While it started out as a pure information design firm, it quickly expanded to become involved in brand strategy and other related offerings.  The opportunity is to refocus the company and establish a clear business strategy so that it can truly be successful over the long-term.

    Out of Balance: One of my biggest challenges that I’ve been working to correct over the past two years involves a clear imbalance between my professional career thus far and the skills that are required to move beyond this realm of expertise.  While my efforts have shown true promise in correcting this “right brain / left brain” imbalance, there is still more work to be done.  The opportunity here is to take greater and more strategic steps to bridge this gap and clearly convey my strengths and potential as a design leader.

    Emphasis on Innovation: Being creative for creative’s sake is beneficial, but leveraging creativity to solve real-world problems can be extremely powerful.  While my thoughts and designs are truly “mine”, the bulk of my efforts has been focused inward (self-development, strength building, creative exploration).  The opportunity is to shift gears and transfer more energy towards addressing real-world challenges and designing and creating with true purpose.

    Mental Barriers: One of the keys to one’s success is the ability to maintain a high-level of optimism independent of the challenge faced.  With a realization that my optimism level is classified as “average”, there is a clear opportunity to employ constructive techniques to quickly move past barriers that would have normally impeded progress.  With the world moving at a faster pace, there is no better time to find ways to accelerate my ability to navigate through these challenges.

  • Mental Evolution III (“Lessons”)

    January 1, 2011 marks the beginning of the tenth chapter (“Plane”) in the Planescape saga – a chapter I call “Immersion.”  While the details are still being mapped out, I am becoming enthusiastic about what this new framework entails.

    In advance of sharing more details about Immersion, I think it’s worth sharing a few things that I’ve learned over the past year – particularly over the past sixty days – all of which will be incorporated into my larger advancement strategy.

    1. In the workplace, team chemistry is perhaps the most important thing to me.
    2. I have a much clearer sense for what I should ultimately strive for, and what I can leave behind.
    3. I have a better understanding of my strengths and skills, and also have the confidence to let some of those skills lay dormant as I develop new skills and further improve my strengths.
    4. I believe that if I am not happy, moving somewhere else will not necessarily change this.
    5. I am uncomfortable with a significant amount of uncertainty, but I have learned ways to accommodate where extreme uncertainty exists.
    6. I have learned what it feels like to be unemployed and the psychological effects of the job search.
    7. I have a better understanding of the types of companies that interest me – and those that do not.
    8. I know I need to centralize my development around design, technology and business.
    9. I need to be more careful and conscious of future decisions to increase my life satisfaction.
    10. The past several years of effort have ultimately paid off in terms of being able to tell a more accurate story of who I am and where I’m going.
    11. I am interested in leading design efforts with proper experience / education.
    12. I have learned that a continuous bombardment of failures can result in a sense of “learned helplessness” which can be corrected.
    13. I have a better sense of who to trust and when trust should be given.
    14. I have learned better decision-making skills given past failures.
    15. I do not wish to work at home or alone because it is psychologically very draining / alienating for me.
    16. I have a better understanding of what I want and do not want in my life.
    17. I have learned that I can become blocked when facing too many significant (life) decisions at once; thus, employing some type of partitioning strategy is necessary to make these decisions in confident, thoughtful and expedient manner.
    18. I may never be completely satisfied with my life, and maybe that is okay.
    19. My graphic design portfolio is fairly strong, but I need to spend more time developing the other sections of my portfolio (e.g. 3D).
    20. I would like to expend more time on entertainment design, but realize that it may always be a passion but not necessarily a career.
    21. A robust ID portfolio and MFA degree could open a lot of doors for me in the long-run.

  • Mental Evolution II (“Turning Point”)

    I recently came to the conclusion that what I have been dealing with for an extended period of time (years) is something called learned helplessness.  Learned helplessness is a condition where you find yourself believing that you have no control over the outcome of your actions.  It stems from a stream of negative events that demoralize and ultimately cause one to give up – albeit temporarily.  While I don’t know when this period began, I do know that this period is ending.

    I have always labeled myself as a realist – which, in my mind, has been a balance between optimism and pessimism.  The challenge that I have been facing over the past several years – particularly in 2010 – is that when reality presents you with continuous challenges, one can become overwhelmed with trying to make sense of what has happened.  I’ve found that this original sense of realism has become replaced with that of pessimism and extreme caution, both of which has resulted in stagnation and an inability to advance into territories that will ultimately make my life more fulfilling and positive.

    Interestingly, but not surprisingly, I have been amazed at my recent ability to quell feelings of positivity when they arise because I no longer trust these feelings will last.  By default, these positive feelings rarely have a chance to develop and a self-fulfilling prophecy is created.

    This is a turning point because feelings of learned helplessness and the tendency to employ a pessimistic perspective can both be overcome.  Setbacks no longer need to be classified as disasters.  I have too much potential to allow this pattern to continue any longer.

  • Mental Evolution I (“Realization”)

    [This is part one of multi-part series related to my experiences in searching for a new career opportunity.]

    I read an article on CNN today which really hit home with me.  The article was about the rescue of two boys who were lost at sea for nearly two months – having recently been found by a tuna ship off the coast of Fiji.  The story is nothing short of a miracle.  While the concept of faith is perhaps an underlying factor in their survival, the final sentence of the article is a very powerful one:

    “They’ve got a lot of gusto, a lot of strong mental spirit,” Fredricsen told the Morning Herald. “Physically they are very [distraught] but mentally they are very strong.”

    When I attempted the summit of Mt.Rainier in 2007, the main reason I was unable to accomplish this goal had everything to do with a lack of mental toughness and very little to do with physical capability.  This was very surprising to me.  The fact that these boys’ survival was based primarily on their mental strength says a lot – not only about them but about me as well.

    I am physically very strong.  Mentally, however, I think there is opportunity for improvement.  Of course, the degree of “weakness” depends upon a number of factors – and there are certain circumstances where I can be quite resilient when many others cannot.  In any event, this ability to adapt can be strengthened – and this identification is the first step towards a stronger “mental infrastructure.”

    Using my personality type (INFP) as the basis for this journey is key.  Without going into elaborate detail about the aspects of this personality type, I was able to locate ten INFP-specific “rules” to achieve greater success and become mentally stronger.

    In scanning this list, and looking back over the past year, it’s safe to say that my ability to “follow” these rules has varied depending upon the situation.  Fortunately, given the degree of personal introspection I’ve invested over the past two years (e.g. this blog), nearly all of these rules are ones that I employ on a daily basis.  But, there are two major exceptions:

    1. Express Your Feelings. Don’t let unexpressed emotions build up inside of you. If you have strong feelings, sort them out and express them, don’t let them build up inside you to the point where they become unmanageable!
    2. Assume the Best. Don’t distress yourself by assuming the worst. Remember that a positive attitude often creates positive situations.

    The first one has been the most difficult for me – primarily because I tend to internalize everything I’m feeling before expressing those feelings.  In certain circumstances, this can be a positive but in many cases it causes me significant stress – particularly if those same feelings remain “hidden.”

    The second is another area for improvement.  While my ability and desire to help others can be seen as having an optimistic outlook, I’ve found that this level of optimism is in contrast to what I sometimes feel in my personal and professional lives.  I need to take steps to employ a similar perspective independent of the situation.

    While this CNN article prompted me to share these thoughts, they have been there for some time.  Given my experiences over the past several weeks, I’ve felt this lack of mental toughness to be something that I really need to pay close attention to.  When you strive for success on a daily basis, any and all barriers need to be managed accordingly – and increasing my mental strength is my primary barrier right now.

  • The (New) Hierarchy of Needs – Part IV

    [This is part four of a series on project management that is based upon Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”]

    Accountability

    The next level up moves beyond this “foundation” and starts to get into the tactical level – “who’s involved and who’s accountable?”  In this layer, we build an organizational chart that shows who is involved and where each resource “fits”.  Discussions around “workstreams” and communication pathways can be found here.

    In order for a project to be successful, accountability needs to be defined and enforced at multiple levels – not just with the project performers.  All project participants – including stakeholders – have a specific role to play, and if they have a role to play that means that they are accountable for “something”.  Said in another way, if it’s difficult to define what that resource is accountable for, then they should not be part of the project.  It’s really that simple.

    Creating a team organizational chart is the first step in this accountability definition.  The key is that there should be ONE and only ONE leader.  Ensuring that the leadership chain is clear and unambiguous in the visual is extremely important – if it’s not obvious who is running the project, then you have a problem.

    Having a technical lead, for example, can be beneficial but only if the structure is defined such that the technical lead reports to the PM.  If the PM and technical lead both report to the sponsor or customer, then you have an accountability problem.  Similarly, if you have multiple customers, how does that working relationship look?

    Again, if it’s not obvious in the visual, it’s not going to be obvious in practice.

    Another tip is to keep the core team as small as possible.  Why?  Mainly because the more resources you have, the more communication paths you create.  Communication paths are critical to a successful project and need to be carefully managed.

    For example, in a “loose” organizational structure, you are more likely to have communication “cross talk” and duplicative efforts which impede progress.  Maintain the team organization and manage communication pathways like a traffic cop – keep things organized and life will be easier.

    What happens when your project scope requires a significant number of resources?  Your core team can and should remain small.  Just divide the organization into discrete areas of accountability.  Again, keep the core team small and hold people accountable.  Careful workstream definition is key here.

    I’ve learned even when people are identified on an organizational chart, it doesn’t mean they “buy-in” to the structure you’ve created.  Unfortunately, the reality is that they are unlikely to challenge what you’ve “built” because doing so can put them in an awkward position and you’re likely to receive false acknowledgement.

    The key is to ensure team participants are comfortable in the role that you’ve identified, and if they are identified as a workstream lead, doubly ensure they know what you are asking them to do.

    If you have the luxury of leading a team where roles are undefined, it can be beneficial to utilize Strengths Finder to truly understand the strengths of each resource.  It’s easy to assume that each person has strengths that align with the task they have been assigned, but that can be misleading.

    Get the most from your resources by understanding where they excel and how they wish to contribute.

    Remember, your primary goal is to build a solid relationship with the team.  If you don’t have that, it’s going to be difficult to be successful in your role.  Your secondary goal is to delegate, assume positive intent, empower the team and let things sort themselves out – you are not there to micromanage.  If you are micromanaging, you either haven’t got the right framework in place or you have the wrong resource doing that particular task (or both).