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The End of Territories (I).
Aug 24, ’11
9:49 PM
With September just around the corner, I’ve decided to end the first chapter of Territories and focus my energies on its successor – “Territories 2.”
As alluded to in my last post, this new site will focus on both technology and design, and perhaps less on interpersonal / emotional aspects of my life (at least in comparison to Incubator and Territories I).
I’m excited about this next online chapter and look forward to the challenges ahead.
Alone Together II: Self-Betrayal
Apr 21, ’11
8:29 AM
“When I first began studying people and computers, I saw programmers relating one-to-one with their machines, and it was clear that they felt intimately connected. The computer’s reactivity and interactivity […] made them feel they had “company,” even as they wrote code.”
I pulled this quote from Chapter 6 of “Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other” because I know exactly what the author is referring to.
I have been using computers for nearly three decades – and it’s safe to say that this usage has been a daily recurrence since an Apple IIe first arrived at my doorstep. Computers have ultimately made me who I am today and it’s a path that I do not regret taking.
Computers, for me, have allowed me to tap into my core being. Why? Because at some level they ultimately represent “what could be,” and when your personality is centralized around “never ending possibilities” there is a unique connection that is not easily broken.
Through consistent and frequent use – whether that use was through gaming, programming, or creating – a “digital relationship” always developed. Regardless of what was going on in my life, my computer has been the one thing that I can count on to learn from, experience new things, and to ultimately achieve a sense of “flow.”
I never really thought too deeply about this “relationship” because it has just been a natural part of my life; I could easily conceive giving up my television, but I am not sure I would be able to easily cope without my computer.
While my use of computers provides me with significant benefit (creative exploration, skill-development, research, etc.), it can clearly introduce a “digital divide” between myself and others.
The author of Alone Together summarizes this divide extremely well in her description of the use of robotic companions for the elderly:
“Does it deceive the elderly into feeling less alone as they chat with robots about things they once would have talked through with their children? If you practice sharing “feelings” with robot “creatures,” you become accustomed to the reduced “emotional” range that machines can offer. As we learn to get the “most” out of robots, we may lower our expectations of all relationships, including those with people. In the process, we betray ourselves.”
Is my “relationship” with computers lowering my expectations of human relationships? In general, the answer is “no.”
Through Territories and Incubator, this “one-way” dialogue has allowed me to comprehend the incomprehensible and elevate to a higher level of awareness and understanding. And perhaps this “digital dialogue” is representative of the “ideal” situation as it relates to these unfortunate events.
After all, most people would tire quickly of my interminable analysis and heavy introspection, and many more would never truly comprehend my experiences without having lived through them (as would be true in an opposite circumstance). Thus, this “digital relationship” has served a useful purpose.
Now, however, there is a greater risk for betrayal. The longer that I spend channeling personal thoughts into a digital medium, I become accustomed to a default “acceptance” of the content and the two-way dialogue remains absent.
Intellectual engagement is one of my top priorities in life, and the thinking/writing process is a key producer. Thus, eliminating all written thought at this stage may not be wise. However, I am smart enough to know that a continuation along this introspective path without true connection is the wrong path for me.
Out of Body Experience.
Feb 24, ’11
8:20 PM
Earlier this month I was involved in a fairly serious accident while playing basketball at my local gym. The player, who I actually do not know, went up for a shot and I was unfortunately too close – expecting a rebound opportunity. Three days ago I had surgery to repair the two facial fractures that had resulted in that unfortunate collision.
In some strange way, time seemed to slow down just milliseconds before the impact occurred. My mind told me that I was truly in the wrong place at the wrong time. The resulting impact was perhaps the most pain I’ve experienced to date – and it’s one limit that I would rather not exceed anytime soon. Immediately following the collision I knew something was truly wrong. My jaw – actually my entire face – felt like it had shifted. Something inside my face had moved out of place.
Once I was able to walk off the court, my fears slowly creeped in and by the time I had left the gym I was in tears – not because I was in pain (amazingly), but because I was afraid and very much alone. Those feelings quickly escalated once I made it to a local medical center to have my injuries looked after. I was unable to speak to the receptionist and tried desperately to get my feelings stabilized. Feelings of strength and confidence can be quickly erased when trauma occurs, and this was proof positive of that.
Soon after being looked after and an X-ray taken, I went to the emergency room for a CT scan (computed tomography). It was here where my mind transitioned into another place – a place where my situation became less about my fears and more about the technologies that would help diagnose my condition.
As I was rolled into the CT unit I focused my attention at the multitude of red lights that scanned over my face and the mechanisms that resided within the clear circular frame. I listened to the whirring of mechanical servos as the scan progressed and smelled the “magnetic” air that was a surprising byproduct of the procedure. While others can feel claustrophobic in such a machine, I felt strangely at peace. I was able to focus my attention outside of myself and into the overall experience.
When the day of surgery arrived, my anxiety was minimal to none. While I had my family’s support available to me, my mind was again placed outside of myself. My mind focused on the logistics of the pre-op room, the personalities of the nurses who interacted with me, the IV inserted into my arm, the layering of wavelengths that displayed on the screen above me, and the intermittent alarm when my respiration levels dropped below “normal.”
For some reason, I wanted (needed?) this medical team to remember me as someone who was thankful, cool under pressure and empathetic – qualities that I strive to possess but do not always achieve. I wanted to build perhaps the most important self-fulfilling prophecy of them all – a prophecy where feelings of positivity and confidence allow for a speedy recovery.
By its very nature, trauma forces the inflicted to slow down and process thoughts with greater intensity and focus. Slowing down allowed me to step outside of my current reality and find ways to stabilize my emotions in a way that was natural for me. Being able to find and fabricate a temporal world where I was able to gain some emotional and physiological stability allowed me to gain the strength I needed to move beyond this accident and procedure in a positive and constructive way.
What makes you happy?
Dec 28, ’10
11:49 AM
Can you become happier through analysis of what makes you happy? Can you gain greater understanding of other people’s happiness through similar analysis? I think the answer to both questions is “yes.”
I recently purchased the second season of George Lucas’ The Clone Wars. Overall, I’m completely thrilled – so much so that I am starting to think the series is better than the original trilogies. As I progressed through each episode, I found my level of happiness directly linked to a few select scenes. While I was happy watching every episode, I couldn’t stop but wonder why certain scenes were more “joy-provoking” than others.
Let me share a few examples to further explore this concept.
In the episode entitled “Cargo of Doom”, there is one scene where a bounty hunter named Cad Bane has jumped into a parked spaceship to flee from Anakin Skywalker. Once Bane jumps into the spaceship, there is some brief animation as he turns on the ship’s power. This is visible through the illumination of lights within the ship’s cockpit. What really excited me was the sequence of lights that illuminated within the 1-2 second interval. Instead of just showing a single illumination (i.e. the ship is now “on”), the animators took the time to show a purposeful sequence of illumination (spatial relationship and number) giving the sense of multiple subsystems and overall complexity.
Once the ship has taken off, and Anakin is forced to jump off the wing to avoid injury, the camera follows the ship briefly as the wings are lowered and the ship accelerates. While difficult to convey here, the chosen camera angle illustrates the significance of the situation, the complexity and acceleration of the ship, and the sheer size difference between the ship, the hangar and humans on the ground.
So, what are the themes that comprise this scene? (i.e. why do I like this scene in particular?)
Themes: technology, complexity, purpose, attention to detail, “part of something larger”, perspective, power, energy, spatial relationship, design
In another episode (“Landing at Point Rain”), there is another scene that I simply love. The Republic is taking heavy losses against the Separatists. After much delay, Y-wing fighters are deployed to the planet to provide critical assistance. The scene begins with a surprised Obi-Wan Kenobi followed quickly by a ground-level camera angle that shows the rapidly approaching Y-wing (a “fly-by”). While the scene lasts all of two seconds (~60 frames of animation), the sheer power and acceleration of the spaceship combined with an equally powerful sound effect makes for a very immersive scene.
Themes: “feeling of being there”, magnitude, realism, sound, surprise, immersion, perspective, uniqueness, influence, control, sense of scale, speed
While I could describe other scenes that produced similar euphoria, I’d recommend renting or purchasing the series to witness this creative masterpiece for yourself. What’s important here, however, is the opinion that one’s ability to describe the themes associated with feelings of joy and happiness can ultimately open up new opportunities for oneself and one’s connection with others.
To expand upon this latter point, when interacting with others – either as friends or as colleagues – you can learn about people by truly understanding the facets of the things that provide them with joy. For example, the statement “I enjoy watching The Clone Wars” is one level of understanding, but as you’ve just seen, it’s simply scratching the surface. Uncover the themes behind one’s enjoyment and you can learn a great deal.
Think about movies you’ve watched, books you’ve read, or places you’ve visited. If you find yourself in a state of euphoria, ask yourself why. What are the descriptors behind the event? What do those descriptors say about you, and can you increase those feelings through additional exploration?