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Tag sense of self

Parallels: 1984+2012

What Next?

Now three weeks into this new journey, I’m starting to reclaim a sense of self on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and intellectual – and I am enjoying learning to be myself once again.

True to form, I’ve gone through and purged belongings that I no longer need and increased “security” around those that I still need / want.  My primary objective at this point is to refine the Immersion foundation defined earlier this year and use that as the basis for decision-making and activities in the months to come.

In the meantime, here are a few ideas that I have been thinking about:

Portfolio Consolidation: I am considering shutting down both Pixeldust and Ink microsites and consolidating the portfolios, which could very well result in the elimination of many older pieces whose quality lags behind more recent work.  While I think the current site design is sound, I also believe there is too much redundancy.  Strategy: Keep things simple, relevant and focus all attention on my best work.

Self-Promotion: I think the efforts that have gone into my core portfolio and the various microsites have resulted in a solid foundation to build from.  I’m pleased with the results, but I’m at a point where I’m less interested in promotion for promotion’s sake (career opportunities, etc.) and more interested in further expanding the portfolio.  Strategy: Get back to basics.

Research: I am at a point now where the types of books that I am reading are leaning away from self-improvement and towards other subjects: design, technical subjects and fiction.  It’s a direction that I’m becoming more comfortable with.  Strategy: Refocus research efforts on creative and technical topics, and focus more energies on fictional works.

Bionic 2.0: As mentioned earlier, one of the plateaus I’ve reached is the physical.  Now three years into a strength-building plan, I think I can move into new territories.  Strategy: Focus greater energy on core physiology and refine exercise plan.

 

Plus ca change Plus c’est la meme chose

My mom recently shared a few documents from when I was in nursery school and kindergarten many years ago.  These documents essentially provide a glimpse of my behavior and personality at that time.

As I was reading through the narratives, I was intrigued (actually – amazed) on the behavioral similarities between then and now.  In some strange way, these narratives confirm what this multi-year journey has shown me:

Who I believed I was is indeed who I really am.

Nursery School

  • Even tempered, tolerant and friendly, Adrian is well accepted by the group and usually involved with social play most of the morning.  He is willing to try everything and especially enjoys blocks, dramatic play, books and woodworking activities.[2011 Commentary: My professional career and personal interests have spanned numerous and diverse areas, and will likely continue to do so for the remainder of my life.]
  • He has marvelous ideas, but is easily distracted and remains only semi-involved much of the time. [2011 Commentary: Exclusive focus in one particular area is still, and will always be, a challenge.]
  • When approached by adults, Adrian is friendly, spontaneous; responds well to suggestions and directions.  On the whole, he appears to be independent and self-reliant. [2011 Commentary: Perhaps too much so.]
  • Adrian takes pride in whatever he makes in school, e.g. when he does a painting or art activity, he often informs us he is finished and proudly shows us his finished product.  He likes to make constructive things out of the materials e.g. airplanes (out of the nuts and bolts; odd pieces of wood), buildings or boats out of hollow blocks.  He likes to work in a group, rather than on an individual basis.[2011 Commentary: The showcasing of work will always expand, although I do most of my best work when working independently.]
  • Adrian has most of contact with Benjamin and Billy because they also spend a great deal of time in the hollow block corner. [2011 Commentary: Exclusivity in friendship and relationships is still the norm.]
  • If he feels uncomfortable after a disagreement, he usually moves onto a different activity. [2011 Commentary: I don’t like conflict and I tend to focus my energies on something creative or positive when I am able to.  Incubator started with this core personality trait.]
  • He is very capable of expressing his thoughts and feelings through language. He enjoys talking to others about experiences he has or something he has just made. [2011 Commentary: My written ability to share these thoughts is perhaps stronger than my verbal ability although I hope one day this will change.]
  • New situations don’t upset Adrian.  He is flexible and adapts to whatever is taking place in the room.

Kindergarten

  • He is particularly fond of block building and art.  Adrian is also quite creative with materials. [2011 Commentary: Scary! :-)]

If you have similar materials from your childhood, perhaps one day you will go back and take a closer look.  The expression “the more things change, the more they stay the same” may hold true for you as well as it has for me.