From time to time, if I am feeling down, my family and friends will tell me to “Just be happy!”. I have always struggled with understanding what this really means. This is not to say that I am not a happy person (I am), but if I am not happy, should I expend energy trying to be happy? If I did, what exactly should I do to “be happy”?
Having just finished the book “Finding Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, I think I’ve discovered the answer to this.
The answer ultimately suggests increasing your involvement and enthusiasm in your life and letting that experience and mindset ultimately guide you towards happiness.
Let me explain further.
Mihaly is best known for his research on the concept of “flow”. Having experienced “flow” many times, I believe it is one of the most rewarding feelings that ultimately results in happiness. But first, what is “flow”?
“The metaphor of “flow” is one that many people have used to describe the sense of effortless action they feel in moments that stand out as the best in their lives. Athletes refer to it as “being in the zone,” religious mystics as being in “ecstasy,” artists and musicians as aesthetic rapture.”
When I come up with a new idea or am in the final stages of a drawing, there is a high likelihood of experiencing”flow”. I know when it happens because I don’t think about anything else but what I am doing at that moment. While it may sound strange, it’s almost as if time does not exist. It’s an amazing feeling.
Mihaly makes an interesting point in his book in that one typically doesn’t experience happiness during “flow” (i.e. there isn’t enough “room” for any real emotion during flow experiences). It’s only when the experience is over where one can feel truly happy – i.e. because they have experienced “flow”.
Returning to my original dilemma (“how can one be happy?”), most people assume that being happy is synonymous with a fulfilling life. According to the author, “happiness is not the only emotion worth considering [to have a more fulfilling life]. In fact, if one wants to improve the quality of everday life, happiness may be the wrong place to start.”
The key to achieving flow – and ultimately happiness – is being able to live a life filled with involvement and enthusiasm in all areas. Those that are able to achieve this are considered to have an “autotelic” personality – formed from the Greek roots auto (self) and telos (goal).
“Autotelic persons are not necessarily happier, but they are involved in more complex activities, and they feel better about themselves as a result. It is not enough to be happy to have an excellent life. The point is to be happy while doing things that stretch our skills, that help us grow, and fulfill our potential.”
(I am fortunate in that I have a long track of having an autotelic personality, although admittedly I never knew that such a formal description of such a personality existed.)
Some of you may be saying “I can be happy without being involved in a complex activity!” and you are absolutely right. The challenge, according to the author, is that:
“… this kind of happiness [happiness without “flow”] is very vulnerable and dependent on favorable external circumstances.”
He then goes on to suggest:
“The happiness that follows flow is of our own making, and it leads to increasing complexity and growth in consciousness.”
Through the “Finding Flow” text, my mission now is not to “be happy”, but experience happiness through increased involvement and enthusiasm in all areas of my life – and not just those that are self-directed (i.e. through personal projects, classes, etc.).